One of my new students approached me after our final orientation session this afternoon. He asked a simple and sincere question: "How do I show you respect?" He was concerned because I do not require the students to stand when they say something, and I don't sit down when teaching. By asking them to call me by my given name removes another formality in our relationship.
In China, context is important. Context gives them information and with this information they know how to act. Americans are less concerned with context. Situations do not inform us as they do the Chinese. When I go to a banquet with Chinese, I'm seated either next to the leader or I get the leader's seat. It's easy for the Chinese. The person sitting at the head of the table or furthest from the door is the leader. Everyone knows what is expected of them and how to behave toward me. By reducing my student's classroom context, he became a little confused. He wasn't certain how to act towards me. Once he understood my explanation about Americans valuing informality he was a little more relaxed.
My student and I left the classroom together. As we walked across the Tsinghua Science Park campus he asked if he could come to my office sometime and discuss "deep" topics. I agreed. He then offered to take me shopping at Zhongguancun (China's silicon valley) if I ever needed an electronic device. I'm thinking Microsoft Office 2010. Maybe I'll take him up on his offer.
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